There is a common idea that grief moves through stages and then comes to an end. In practice, most people find it does not work like that. Grief tends to ease and return, sometimes long after a loss, and often without warning.
Anniversaries are a common example. The date of a death, a birthday, a wedding anniversary or a holiday that was once shared can bring the loss back with surprising force. So can other life events, such as a wedding, the birth of a grandchild, or a move, where the absence of the person who has died is felt sharply.
When this happens, people sometimes worry that they are going backwards, or that they should be “over it” by now. A return of strong feeling does not mean that. It is part of how grief works. The relationship mattered, and its absence continues to be felt at the moments that matter most.
The support of family and friends is vital. Even so, many people find there are things they cannot easily say to those closest to them, often because those people are grieving too. Some need to talk about the more private aspects of a relationship, or about feelings they find hard to admit, such as anger, relief or guilt. Speaking with someone impartial can make it possible to say these things and feel less alone with them.
If grief is affecting your sleep, your work or your relationships, or you simply feel you need somewhere to talk, you are welcome to telephone the clinic.